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Making Chuch a Great Place
Making RCRC really friendly...
The question read, “Would people who are different to me find it easy to fit in to this church?” I had to think about that. Over recent weeks I have had to think about it a little more: things have happened which give us a wake up call about the way we are building community.
Let me say first that from early days, the warmth of community, the family feel, has been great. This has a great blessing for our first years. The interesting thing is that sometimes great community feels so good, and we get so used to it, that it becomes hard for people to break into our circle. We need to make some changes, otherwise the church will not be the warm and loving new society God wants it to be.
I guess there are people who are up front and confident, and they won’t have too much trouble introducing themselves to others, or breaking into a group of people whom they don’t know. There are also lots of people who are tentative, more reserved, and who will stay on the margins if no one draws them in. One is not better than another. People are just different.
It just happens...
Understand this: I don’t think anyone gets out of bed in the morning and says, “I think I’ll just focus on myself at church today, too bad about others…” But life is busy, and we have to catch up with a few people… So, when arrive, or the service finishes, we make a bee line for the people we want to catch up with. At other times, we just see people we know, and we talk with them. That’s what friends do, right?
The other side is that on Sundays there are lots of people I don’t know. Probably more people I don’t know than people I do know. And we know it can be hard to leave our comfort zone, step over the boundary, and introduce yourself to someone you’ve never met. For some of us, that’s not just different, that’s discomfort.
So there are two things at work: we can be preoccupied with seeing people we know – enjoying the warmth of community we are part of. And there’s the effort required to move out of what we know, and to take a few risks in meeting new people.
Reality
Before I talk briefly about how we can all change this situation, let’s just think about some of the realities
- people today, maybe more than ever, are longing for an expression of love and community. Maybe it’s not said, or even realised, but this is very high on the internal agenda of everyone who walks through our doors. People are hungering for friendship, for a smile, for people who care. People really do want to be drawn into restored community! Restored community is one of the most effective tools God uses to show what new life in Christ is all about!
- We should be the first to show that new community. We should be the first to step out of our comfort zone. The first to speak to a someone we don’t know. The first smile, the first to greet, the first to shake hands, the first to make someone else a cuppa, the first to leave those we’re talking to and walk across the room to people who have no one to talk to! We should be the first every single time! Why? That's just what Jesus would have done!
For the next two months…
So I want to issue a challenge: a challenge to change and to more loving community. For the next two months, do the following:
- Develop ‘people eyes’ – take time tomorrow to look for people you don’t know. No need to ask whether they are ‘new’ or not (hey, most the church is 'new'!), just ask yourself whether you know them. If you don’t, introduce yourself and make a new friend!
- Smile! Do you know smiles are natural, and it takes more effort to not smile? The eyes communicate what’s in your heart. Relate warmly, openly, friendly to all people, especially those you don’t know.
- Instead of making a bee line for the coffee, or a chair to sit on, look to the fringes for people who are on their own. Think of them first, before yourself. That’s what Jesus did (Phil 2) Go up, say G’day, be a friend and make a friend. Be the first to say hello, shake a hand, smile, to make a cuppa for someone else
- Make a commitment to speak to people you don’t know for the first ten minutes after the service. As you leave your chair in the auditorium, start looking for someone you don’t know. Be the friend they need.
- Take a real interest in people. Ask them about their week, their family, how they’ve been. Start with them and stay with them
- Invite someone you don’t know home (or somewhere else) for coffee or a BBQ. Spend time with them. Time is the currency we use to purchase trust and relationship. God loves a cheerful giver…
- Ask them to your small group. Small groups are the best places to get to know a small amount of people fast. People in small groups build community and make the church a warmer place
- Pray: “Lord, help me love the church, your people, more and more.” Remember Jesus, who for our sakes made himself last. Ask Jesus for the eyes and the heart that build warm body life. Ask Him to give you his eyes, his ears, his hands and feet. Become them and be them for others.
Feedback: dave@redlandscrc.org.au